Closing one door

Not to open the next - but to just be!

Waking up this morning was way different than I had imagined. Today my first book – Pure Raw and Happy – how to navigate a more joyful way of life straight from the heart is released. It’s a day I’ve been waiting so long for. I thought I would jump out of bed with big smile.

That didn’t happen… I woke up feeling strange and a bit low for no logical reason that I could think off. Then again, our body doesn’t always follow logic.

Since this was THE DAY I started to push myself a bit and had a long list of things I wanted to do to get the book noticed. However, my heart just wasn’t in it. It wasn’t even in the vicinity to do this.

Photo by Anna Rohova

Now my logical sales and marketing mind started to push for ideas harder, and I got into an even lower mood. Very surprised since I know the work that has been done before this day and how much I do appreciate the book going “live”.

After years of learning to know the signs, I stopped. I put all my plans and ideas to the side, listened to my body and did a meditation to ground myself and this day. That might sound easy for some (to put plans aside) but for me it was a big deal today in regards to something that has been a love project. What happened next showed me that I’m closing an old door that I’ve had open for a long time.

It’s the door of doing, of achievement, of having to work or accomplish “stuff” throughout the day or with a project. This day was not to be about that.

Instead, I took a long, beautiful moment in the morning to just exist. Not doing but being. I lay aside all plans surrounding the book, including expectations I had had on myself. The last one was hard to put aside, but not impossible and I have the tools in my toolbox.

Slowly a feeling of joy and excitement started to return. So I continued to be present, aware and take care of myself. Doing whatever I felt like. I had sat aside this day for the book, so I had time. I went for a bike ride around the island. I sat in the sun. Without doing or listening to anything or planning. Just being and feeling grateful.

Come evening my emotions and energy were flying high and the insight became clear. I had to smile since this is something I write about in the book and know about, still got a great lesson today when it came dressed in a new outfit.

This book and the work around it are partly about a flow of energy in life. This morning, I tried to control that flow from old work habits. I tried to make it mine and steer it but that didn’t feel good. When I instead let go, stepped back and trusted myself, my connection, it came back. WOW is a small word for me for catching that insight with a feeling of I get it, from my toes and out. I will use this day as a reminder when/if it shows up again.

It’s not about doing nothing and another day it might have been about following the plans. Today was not that day and my heart spoke loud and clear. When it does, trust that it will show the way forward and be open and flexible to shift and change. We are moving into this new dimension where our old ways wont work and this was such a great lesson.

Together with the Full Moon the other day helping us to close doors, this was not the one I thought I would close or even knew I had open. Still, truly grateful that it showed up, and that I caught it before the uneasy feeling settled.

Now as I am about to go back to bed after this day that turned out to be so different and much better than I could have imagined in a completely new way, the book title “Pure, Raw and Happy – how to navigate a more joyful new way of life straight from the heart” sits really well with the day.

• My lesson was to get out of my head and into my heart, yet again.

• My tools were meditation, awareness and trust.

Love and Light

Maria

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